"Latin Omnivore" by Naomi Tonlivre
March 29, 2026
A long time ago (but not in a galaxy far, far away), I started a section of this website devoted to reviewing free fiction by self-published authors. Initially, I was moderately diligent about this - but latterly, not so much (my last review of free fiction was in 2021 and the frequency of reviews had slowed down a fair bit in the previous few years).
It may have been easier when I started (in 2012) because self-publishing via ebooks was having a bit of a moment. My guess is that - a bit like me - quite a few people who’d been sitting on manuscripts that they’d been unable to get published by the traditional route suddenly thought: “Hey, why don’t I give self-publishing a try?” And within that first wave of books, there were probably more free titles of sufficient quality that I was prepared to review them (there is, fairly obviously, an awful lot of self-published stuff that I wouldn’t touch with a barge-pole - but I could say the same about conventionally published fiction as well).
Although I’ve occasionally cast the net further afield, my main source has also been Smashwords, which has been a key platform for my own fiction. But I suspect that these days, most self-publishers (understandably) tend to focus on Amazon, where you can’t make your book available without charge. Occasionally they will agree to price-match other sites where your book is free (such as Smashwords or iTunes). But normally, the best you can do (if you just want readers and you’re not worried about making any money) is to put it on at £0.99.
Not having paid much attention to Smashwords for a while, I decided to revisit it last month and see if I could find some free stuff worth reading. I usually focus on the “Literature” category because my general preference is for “literary fiction” (whatever the hell that is). And I did find some stuff, although the results bore out my sense that Smashwords is not as fertile a source as it once was. Anyway, that is how I came across Latin Omnivore (yes, finally I am getting to my review - thank you for bearing with me, you’ve been astoundingly patient):
Latin Omnivore by Naomi Tonlivre
Latin Omnivore by Naomi Tonlivre
Do you like anagrams? If so, you’re going to love this. Check out the title and author for starters. But I suspect that most people will be after something more than the heady promise of further anagrammatic shenanigans. That said, all this anagram stuff does rather set the tone for this playful novella.*
Our narrator, known only as the professor, teaches classical history at a college in the US. Her particular area of expertise is the life of the Roman Emperor Britannicus - and the narrative switches between the present day and that of imperial Rome, when the Roman Empire was divided between East and West. If that little nugget of classical history has both a familiar and also a slightly strange ring to it, don’t worry - all is explained later on in the book (but not in this review because that would spoil the plot).
Meanwhile, back in the present day, the professor is faced with a dilemma; should she attend the rebirthing ceremony of her wayward stepson (he’s joined a cult in Montana) or the wedding of her dutiful but rather frosty daughter, which is in Switzerland? Both are, alas, on the same date. She decides to put off a decision, hoping that procrastination will somehow resolve the issue (I found that I could definitely relate to this aspect).
Initially, she takes refuge in the classical world (hence, in part, the elements of the narrative dealing with the imperial Rome), but before long, a further distraction presents itself in the form of the college’s star international student, the mysterious Mitra Leninov (you see, I did warn that there would be more anagrams). Leninov’s celebrity rests on a controversial paper that she wrote on quantum mechanics, so quite why she is suddenly interested in taking a course in classical history is initially something of a puzzle. It turns out that she wants the professor to translate novel written in latin called “Rain, Venom, Toil” (ahem, anagram alert). Then Leninov is accused of being a fraud and disappears. But if I tell you any more about what happens, I will be in danger of spoiling the plot.
I enjoyed the narrator’s frequently caustic observations about well, pretty much everyone else she has anything to do with, including her daughter (who has “the compassion of the average aqueduct”) and her stepson (“a charming delinquent”). That might make her sound somewhat unsympathetic, but in fact, as she explains: “I was enjoyably intrigued by the flaws of my children….When my stepson won a local spelling bee or my daughter scored an impressive try at rugby, I reveled in their triumphs.” But now that her marriage has failed and both kids have left home, she has retreated into the world of history and the company of a handful of kindred academic spirits at the college. I also had a sense that she was perhaps “on the spectrum” and finds history easier to deal with than people.
The plot moves along at a good pace and I thought the switching between classical Rome and the present day worked well. As already hinted at, the connections between the two narratives become clearer towards the end and quantum physics turns out to be relevant to the plot - but it’s all done with a very light, playful touch. Overall, an enjoyable, short-ish read - probably in the category of what Graham Greene used to call an “entertainment” but with some interesting high concept elements.
I did then make a start on a novel by (I think) the same author entitled “Rain, Venom, Toil” (sound familiar?), which is about a card game where the narrator has to try to work out the rules as he goes along. However, I’m afraid that is how I feel about relatively simple card games (basically anything more complex than “Snap”) - even where I have had the rules explained to me about ten times (and especially when playing with people who grew up playing cards and are therefore quite good at it, unlike me). Whilst I’ve built up a degree of tolerance over the years, I generally find playing cards a mildly stressful experience and have limited desire to read about it - so I hope the author will forgive me for having decided to give up on that particular book at a fairly early stage. I’m sure it’s great if you like card games.
Clearly, I’m more of an anagrams kind of guy. Which brings me to the author, “Naomi Tonlivre”, who I am 99% sure is an alter ego of Valentino Mori - although maybe that is also a pen name (who knows?). Anyway, if you’re interested, Valentino's website is HERE.
At the time of writing, Latin Omnivore was available free from Smashwords HERE (but that can change).
* PEDANTIC NOTE: the word count is just over 44K. So if you adhere to, say, the Hugo Award’s novella definition of works between 17500 and 40000 words, then this is technically a novel. But given its relative brevity, playfulness and general lightness of touch, it is very much at the other end of the spectrum from a weighty fictional tome - so I would say the“novella” category suits it quite well.
Posted by Paul Samael. Posted In : Book reviews
Welcome to my blog, "Publishing Waste" which will either (a) chronicle my heroic efforts to self-publish my own fiction; or (b) demonstrate beyond a scintilla of doubt the utter futility of (a). And along the way, I will also be doing some reviews of other people's books and occasionally blogging about other stuff.
